wareness. You need to be fully aware of how it is that you’re feeling, what it is that you need, and the pattern you had with that person. It’s important to have awareness around what it is that you’re feeling because your feelings can indicate what it is that you need. Having awareness around the pattern is important to helping you recognize why this relationship turned out toxic, and what to look out for in the future.
Psychological abuse can leave deep and lasting scars, affecting all aspects of a person’s life. Healing from such toxic relationships requires resilience, support, and effective strategies. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Natalia Rose Of Intergalactic Honey.
Natalia is an abuse survivor turned confidence and self-worth coach helping women heal and thrive after leaving toxic relationships. From her lived experience of surviving childhood and intimate partner abuse, Natalia developed the framework she uses to help women build their self-esteem and heal limiting beliefs and painful patterns so they can live their healthiest, most vital lives.
Thank you so much for joining us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
Iovercame childhood and intimate partner abuse. I grew up in an abusive household which led me to leave home at 18 with nothing but a backpack. However, I subconsciously recreated the same abusive dynamic in my first relationship shortly after. Thankfully I was blessed with some really great friends who introduced me to feminist ideology that helped me gain a new awareness of what I was experiencing and shortly after graduating college, I was able to leave that toxic relationship.
Rebuilding my confidence and my life on my own was difficult. But with persistence and resilience and the tools I’ve picked up along the way, I have been able to build a life worlds away from those toxic situations.
I’m certified in Yoga, Reiki, Medical Intuition, EFT, Hypnosis, and life coaching and I now support women to rebuild their self-esteem and energetically heal limiting beliefs and painful patterns after experiencing life-force draining relationships.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?
A client came to me after ending a relationship with a narcissist. She was struggling to regulate her mood, unsure of what she wanted, and afraid to stand up for herself. Her biggest desires were to experience unwavering confidence, a sense of stability, and more joy.
She found herself thinking a lot about her ex. They lived in a small town and the fear of running into him made it difficult to go out at all, even for a cup of coffee. She was terrified of the possibility of seeing him.
A reiki session revealed that she needed to express herself, trust her discernment, and create stronger energetic boundaries. She immediately felt calmer and had a breakthrough realization — he wasn’t worthy of the energy and attention she was giving him in her mind. This was the turning point for her healing.
Following this and a hypnosis session for confidence, she shared some really big accomplishments with me. Not only did she have the confidence to have her art displayed in an art gallery, take herself out, and start dating again, but she ran into her ex and his new girlfriend — and she didn’t care. She loved herself and felt happy so it didn’t bother her at all to see them.
This showed me that when we have a strong relationship with ourselves, we can confidently face and eliminate our biggest fears. We are more powerful than we think!
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Resilience, intuition, and compassion are the three most instrumental personality traits I had to cultivate to lead to my success.
Despite all of the things I’ve been through, I’ve never given up. Every challenge helped me to grow. I like to say it’s always a lesson, never a loss because if you learn something you gain something. Change is the only constant in life, so we have to be resilient to be successful.
Trusting my intuition is a big part of my ability to bounce back stronger when I face challenges. It gives me clarity on the moves I need to make to get the results I desire.
Having compassion for yourself is the most important trait you can develop. When you have compassion for yourself, it allows you to have more compassion for others. You stop taking things personally and recognize that everyone is dealing with something. Even if we don’t agree with how someone handles or expresses themselves, compassion neutralizes the situation and prevents us from blowing it out of proportion.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that might help people?
I’m really excited for Healed Baddie, my 1:1 mentorship, to open for enrollment in September. This is a 4 month mentorship for women who are stuck in patterns of low confidence or are navigating difficult relationships that leave them feeling depleted or insecure, and want to feel unshakeable confidence rooted in deep self love and trust so they can accomplish their goals and fulfill their desires.
Healed Baddie incorporates reiki, aura cleansing, somatic practices, and mindset coaching to help you cultivate your intuition, listen to your body and the Universe, and gain strength to make big moves in your life.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of our interview. Let’s start with a simple definition so that we are all on the same page. How would you define a Toxic Relationship?
I define a toxic relationship as any relationship that drains you of your life force energy. This can be with family, with a chosen partner, or with a job.
Relationships are meant to be reciprocal and nourishing. Toxic relationships chip away at your emotional well-being and your mental health, which ultimately impacts your overall health. How a relationship makes you feel is important information and can help you discern if it’s toxic or not.
What are the common signs of emotional, financial, and/or psychological abuse in various types of relationships (e.g., romantic, familial, professional)? How can individuals recognize and address these forms of abuse effectively?
Common signs would be that there’s a general lack of support, and your interests and needs are minimized. For example, let’s say your partner, your family, or your job make you feel guilty or bad for doing something that’s in your best interest or for saying “no” to a request — there’s no support and your interests and needs are ignored.
Another is communication being difficult. Maybe you have a hard time sharing your needs because you’re afraid of how the other person is going to receive it. To avoid the possibility of upsetting them you keep things to yourself. Not feeling seen or valued is another. Maybe your boss, your partner, or a parent never says anything when you complete a task for them, or they are passive aggressive about it.
Recognizing and addressing these effectively takes a healthy dose of self awareness and boundaries. An easy way to recognize that a relationship is toxic is if you feel disrespected, drained, or stressed out when you interact with this person. Know yourself well enough to recognize that that’s how they’re making you feel. Having this awareness is key! It’s the first step in making change. The next is taking action. That means expressing your boundaries.
This can be done in a multitude of ways, but my suggestion is to focus on the “I”. Don’t make it about them, make it about you. Acknowledge what they’re saying, make them feel validated, and then set your boundary. Something like, “I hear you, I totally get where you’re coming from, and, in order for me to be fully resourced and show up as my best self for this, I need [insert thing you need], and I’m no longer available for [insert thing you don’t want]”.
Once a boundary has been expressed, it’s crucial to enforce it. They might push back but allowing a boundary to be crossed is self betrayal, so be adamant about keeping your boundaries in place.
How can someone begin the healing process after leaving a toxic relationship? Based on your research or experience, can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Heal After A Toxic Relationship”?
First, allow yourself to feel the feelings that come with it. There will be grief, anger, and sadness, and they have to be felt in order to be released. Those emotions are valid, and that validity needs to be recognized as well.
From there, you need to rebuild your trust with yourself, so create space to tune in to your needs. My suggestion is to cultivate a mindfulness practice like meditation or journaling. Get to know yourself and the thoughts that you have so you can assess if your thoughts are beneficial or detrimental.
Make the conscious decision to shift the detrimental thoughts to be more positive and beneficial. This is a practice that will take time, but it is essential to healing because consciously choosing better thoughts leads to feeling better and making better decisions.
Put yourself in environments that support your healing. Instead of hitting the local pub for a round of drinks with your bestie, try a yoga class or spend time in nature — something that will nourish you. Start creating habits and routines that support you in taking care of your body, your mind, and your soul, and stay consistent with them. Consistency is key.
1 . Awareness. You need to be fully aware of how it is that you’re feeling, what it is that you need, and the pattern you had with that person. It’s important to have awareness around what it is that you’re feeling because your feelings can indicate what it is that you need. Having awareness around the pattern is important to helping you recognize why this relationship turned out toxic, and what to look out for in the future.
2 . Compassion + Forgiveness. Give yourself grace! Forgive yourself and have compassion for yourself because it wasn’t your fault. You were doing the best you could with what you had and what you knew at the time. You know better now, and will do better moving forward. It’s over and you made a decision you should be proud of, even if it doesn’t look or feel like a fairytale happy ending at the moment.
3 . A new mindset. Choosing a growth mindset is vital! Assess what that relationship taught you about yourself, both positive and negative. Glean the positive insights it provided you. Get curious about how you can use this information to grow and better yourself, and improve the quality of your future relationships.
4 . Healthy habits & systems. You need structure that is going to support your growth. Reflect on the habits you developed in this relationship, determine which ones have got to go, and figure out what habits you want to replace them with. Create a routine/system that will help you to incorporate these new habits into your daily life.
5 . A solid support system. You need someone in your corner that will cheer you on, help you make healthy choices, and remind you of how great you’re doing — especially when things feel difficult. If you don’t have that in your circle right now, I suggest working with a coach to help keep you accountable to yourself and the new life that you’re building.
Following financial abuse, what actionable strategies can individuals employ to rebuild their lives and achieve financial independence? What resources are instrumental in this process?
Start making your own money. Open a bank account in only your name, and make regular deposits. You can start small — what matters is that you start. Look into taking financial literacy classes — you can often find them free at your local library. Start reading books on financial literacy. Learn to budget and save. Educate yourself as best you can and apply what you learn.
For those impacted by multiple forms of abuse, what comprehensive strategies and support systems are most effective in facilitating their healing journey?
Any strategies and systems that take a whole-person approach, meaning they take into consideration the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual aspects of a person. You are not just a body, or a brain, or a soul, you’re a culmination of all those things so they each have to be attended to in order to see real lasting progress and healing.
For example, the Healed Baddie framework begins with awareness in particular around thought patterning and energetics because your thoughts, energy, and physical health influence each other. It then moves into creating sustainable routines that nourish your body, mind and soul, and building habits that support your goals. This creates a solid foundation to begin to build self love, self trust, and self-esteem. These phases intentionally touch on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual elements of being a human to support deep healing and transformation.
What strategies can survivors use to rebuild their self-esteem and confidence?
Incorporate self love practices that emphasize your strengths and the things that you love about yourself to help you rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. Make it a practice to focus on the things you love about yourself more often so that you can train your brain to pay more attention to good things.
Self acceptance is also key, so speak to yourself kindly. Notice when the inner critic comes out, and kindly correct it. Make a list of positive affirmations and recite them regularly — especially when you notice negative thoughts or self-talk — so that you can rewrite your narrative to be one of high self esteem and confidence.
How can friends and family best support someone who is recovering from psychological abuse?
Validate their feelings, and remind them of their worth. They might share they miss their ex or they want to reach out to them and that’s normal, even if it doesn’t make sense because their ex caused so much pain. Acknowledge that they feel safe enough to express that with you, remind them of why they left, and that they deserve better.
Check in on them, make sure they’re doing basic self care like eating and drinking water. Spend time having fun together. Offer to help them with whatever your bandwidth allows — maybe that’s cooking a meal together, or bringing them leftovers, or helping them with chores.
What matters is that they know that they can come to you with the issues they’re facing, and they can trust you to hold a non-judgemental space for them.
What role does therapy play in recovering from psychological abuse, and how can one find the right therapist? Additionally, what tips do you have for overcoming common barriers to accessing therapy?
Working with a therapist or coach can help you develop self compassion and healthy coping strategies. When it comes to finding the right therapist or coach, keep in mind all of the qualities you want them to have so you can identify when you’ve found the right one. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need and what you’re looking for, some offer tiered pricing which can help make their services more accessible.
Could you name a few organizations or professionals that provide crucial support for individuals seeking to restart their lives after experiencing abuse, particularly when they have dependents relying on them?
The Life of A Single Mom and Savvy Ladies are two non-profit organizations that help women and single moms rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship.
You are a person of enormous influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
My dream is to see women all over the world healed and standing in their power, leading healthy authentic lives that they love, following their dreams and passions, and being living embodiments of the Divine Feminine.
Women are the innate nurturers that birth and inspire future generations. I believe that their individual healing directly positively impacts and uplifts everyone in their communities, thus igniting global generational healing and ushering in an era of world peace.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
I’m active on Instagram, you can follow me at @intergalactic.honey, or head to my website intergalactichoney.com
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
