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Many successful people reinvented themselves in a later period in their lives. Jeff Bezos worked on Wall Street before he reinvented himself and started Amazon. Sara Blakely sold office supplies before she started Spanx. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a WWE wrestler before he became a successful actor and filmmaker. Arnold Schwarzenegger went from a bodybuilder, to an actor to a Governor. McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc was a milkshake-device salesman before starting the McDonalds franchise in his 50s.
How does one reinvent themselves? What hurdles have to be overcome to take life in a new direction? How do you overcome those challenges? How do you ignore the naysayers? How do you push through the paralyzing fear?
In this series called “Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life “ we are interviewing successful people who reinvented themselves in a second chapter in life, to share their story and help empower others.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Jeanne Retief.
Dr. Jeanne Retief is the founder of FIGGI Beauty and The Anxious Calm. She founded these endeavors after pivoting from a career in international human rights when she was diagnosed with panic and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s her mission to normalize anxious wiring and hold space for others like her, who still seek professional and personal success while peacefully coexisting with their anxiety.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Igrew up in a small town in South Africa as a sensitive, nervous little girl with dreams that far surpassed the ordinary expectations of those around me. I spent most of my childhood in the sanctuary of my imagination, where I would lose myself in vivid daydreams — playing out life scenarios on the lawn, envisioning fairies and princes on white horses. My mind was my refuge, where I would frequently escape whenever reality became too overwhelming. Compounding challenges of my upbringing and an early childhood plagued by deep-seated generational trauma made me rely on my little mental escapes even more. I often felt isolated and unable to relate to my peers, whose lives seemed worlds apart from my reality.
Despite these challenges, I always felt a deep, unshakeable conviction to make a difference. This sense of purpose fueled my determination to explore beyond the confines of my small town, to carve out a path where I could help others and lead the way toward a better future. I became the first in my family to earn a university degree and quickly pursued a career in human rights, setting the course for the rest of my life in ways I could have only dreamed of as that little girl on the lawn.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” has guided me through many tough times. Countless quotes from the book resonate deeply, but one that stands out to me at this stage of my life is about the “waiting place,” where “everyone is just waiting.” I love how Seuss captures how we can get stuck in a passive state, dreaming of better outcomes without taking action. We often believe that if we keep waiting — whether for a “Yes or No,” “the snow to snow,” or “Another Chance” — life will improve.
The book urges us to break free from this self-imposed limbo and take action, emphasizing that we are co-creators of our destiny and should actively steer our lives. We cannot wait for the world to solve our problems or fulfill our dreams; we must seek out those “bright places where the boom bands are playing.”
We have to move forward, even when it’s terrifying, painful, or when we feel like giving up. We must escape this place because once we become trapped here, life as we know it changes.
You can see it in those around you stuck in this waiting place — how they speak to others, their diminished capacity to love themselves, and the weariness in their eyes. They are constantly strained, tired, and complaining. We must change our fate, and only we can do it.
You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much? If you can, please share a story or example for each.
- Kindness: This is not a word we often associate with success — perhaps with being a good person, but not success. I’ve been stomped on and humiliated for leading with kindness, frequently told that I wouldn’t make it in this world, that I wasn’t strong enough, or that I should toughen up. I am so happy, beyond measure, that I have retained this quality. Every clarifying moment and opportunity came to me because someone showed me kindness. Many of these moments happened in later years because it was a reciprocation of the kindness I had shown them earlier. My most vivid memory of kindness is when I worked at a hair salon in high school. I was trying to earn extra money and prepare for college. I did not come from a family of means, and there was genuine concern about how we could afford all the fees. I would be the first person in my family to earn a degree, a big dream for the entire family. I clocked into the salon every Saturday at 7 a.m. when all my friends were still sleeping and enjoying the weekend with no commitments. I would sweep, serve tea and coffee, and wash and rinse hair. I started offering hand massages to clients for extra tips, and one lady came in every Saturday. She always gave me a tip and was very kind, but she never spoke to me other than with a kind greeting. At the end of my year at the salon, she asked if I could meet with her privately, and she offered to pay for a large portion of my studies through a monthly stipend that she would provide to help me. The kindness of this woman, who barely knew me yet took it upon herself to help me realize a dream, is something I will forever be grateful for.
- Keep Moving: Some may call this determination, others may call it perseverance, but I think these words translate to “keep pushing” while I focus on “moving.” There is this idea that we must push our way through life, toward goals, and through hard times. The constant struggle against the stream exhausts our souls, minds, and professional outlook. We cannot always push or will something into being, no matter how desperately we may want to. Sometimes, we need to move, which may mean all we can do is focus on putting one foot in front of the other — and that is okay! Just keep moving. Don’t enter the waiting place; don’t judge yourself for what you couldn’t achieve or for wanting to give up — keep moving. Determination and perseverance will flow naturally when the time is right. I learned this lesson the hard way during my journey of accepting my panic disorder diagnosis. I didn’t want to believe it; I tried to push back to “being normal.” It wasn’t enough to move — it had to be all or nothing. Healthy or sick. Functioning or a mental mess. As I experienced relapses, even after I was on a good path, I learned that this is just the way I am made. And sometimes, surviving is the victory we seek. Surviving is trying, and trying is thriving.
- You Don’t Need to Have All the Answers: In our highly competitive world, it’s easy to get lost in the idea that to be successful, you need to be all-knowing. You must be better educated, more experienced, and a brilliant visionary. For me, this is not true. It only adds to the incredible weight we all put on ourselves to succeed. No matter how hard we try, we will all fail at some things. There will always be situations that do not work out as we hoped because, in the end, life always happens. Everyone around you who seems to have it all together is also just figuring it out. Many experts in your field are faking it until they make it, even if they don’t admit it. No one you look up to just became all-knowing overnight. We all learn lessons, experience challenges, and often still face difficulties — we choose not to show them to the world. Knowledge will come when needed, you will build experience, and you will redefine what success means to you at various stages in your life. It’s okay not to know but to let go and allow.
As a perfectionist with panic disorder, I have genuine issues with insecurity, uncertainty, and imposter syndrome. It’s easy for me to fall victim to the destructive thoughts that come with this. This view changed when I said, “I don’t know.” I chose to own this during important negotiations, and I was sure it would spell disaster for me. Instead, the key decision-makers in the room met me with understanding and kindness. I met one of my most influential mentors this way. People are kinder than we think or give them credit for. Sometimes, brutal honesty may be your most significant leap forward, even if it seems not to be in your favor.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Second Chapters’. Can you tell our readers about your career experience before your Second Chapter?
I have a PhD in international humanitarian and human rights law. I worked in this field for 16 years and founded my human rights consultancy, which evolved into a respected global endeavor. I always knew I wanted to be of service, and working in this field of law was my dream. When jobs in this field didn’t materialize for me, despite my best efforts, I decided to create my opportunities. I built this consultancy from the ground up when no one believed it could work. In the end, we fulfilled complex projects for key players in the human rights field. I authored numerous peer-reviewed articles, papers, and publications and presented on key topics on a global stage.
And how did you “reinvent yourself” in your Second Chapter?
I didn’t reinvent myself — life reinvented me. I had no desire to leave behind my career in human rights; it was the heart and soul of who I was, my identity, and my dream. I wasn’t a career adventurist but loyal to a fault, not prone to taking risks or jumping into new opportunities. These traits stemmed from my need for security and my aversion to uncertainty. The whispers of imposter syndrome also kept my self-confidence at a level where I didn’t feel I could take risks. In short, if life hadn’t reinvented me, I would never have leaped.
After my panic disorder diagnosis in 2015 and severely mismanaging it for the better part of five years, I broke. When I moved to Portugal from my native South Africa in 2020, my life came crashing down around me. Everything I knew, or thought I knew, was ripped out from underneath me. Past traumas that led to the diagnosis haunted me, and I could no longer hide behind the belief that “helping others gives me the right not to think about what happened to me.” My breaking was the embodiment of “the body keeps the score.” Amid the global COVID pandemic, donor funds — critical for most human rights projects — stopped flowing. With travel bans in place, I couldn’t fly back and forth to Africa to continue my work, and it was impossible to expand in Europe without the ability to introduce myself and get to know the community.
That year, I lost my country, my identity, my beloved career, my health, and myself. I went into deep isolation and desperation. I felt stuck in a whirlwind of emotions, challenges, and closed doors. I had to stop and grieve the person I was, saying goodbye to things I might never be again and acknowledging new possibilities. Looking back, I’m grateful for what emerged from that period, but this reinvention took work.
Can you tell us about the specific trigger that made you decide that you were going to “take the plunge” and make your huge transition?
If I had not had this complete Breaking of mind, body, and soul, I would never have “taken the plunge.” Herein lies the gift of struggle, which is often hard to see when you are in the thick of it. After experiencing severe health setbacks during my Breaking, not being able to function, and not being in a space where I could be the best person I could be for my family and myself, I knew I had to make a change. Part of my struggle was my complete denial and unwillingness to accept my diagnosis and share it with the world. Guilt and shame about this kept me silent, and I insisted that no one could know about my diagnosis. Hiding in the shadows can only work for so long.
I knew I needed to find an outlet where I could still dedicate myself to making a difference, using the skills I learned in my human rights career while taking the podium and accepting ownership of my diagnosis. There was no more room for hiding, no more avoiding, and no more challenging what I cannot change. Here, I indeed committed to keep moving. I knew these three critical things needed to happen to survive. 1) I had to stop hiding in shame, take ownership of my diagnosis, and find the beauty that comes with that. 2) I needed to do something that would allow me to keep serving, but this time without the red tape and politics that come with governmental and corporate aid. 3) I had to do something equally or more challenging than where I came from. Committing to something easy and laid back would frustrate me. I needed to feel challenged.
That is how FIGGI and the Anxious Calm were born: from my Breaking, from symptoms of my diagnosis, and from the pure need to keep moving and still achieve something.
What did you do to discover that you had a new skillset inside of you that you haven’t been maximizing? How did you find that and how did you ultimately overcome the barriers to help manifest those powers?
I allowed myself to dream. I had nothing else to lose; at least, that’s how I felt at the time. I could honestly play around with the what-ifs. What if I created something that spoke to one of my key symptoms? What if I made skincare for sensitive skin? What if I imported my favorite scientifically proven ingredient from South Africa? What if I learned how to formulate and did a qualification in chemistry? What if I could take all the knowledge and experience I built up in the field and use it in a way where there were no more barriers to helping the end client?
Pondering these questions, allowing myself to consider them — is how I awakened to what I had inside of me. I had knowledge, connections, experience, and a unique skill set. When I took the time to write this all down and looked at all I had achieved in black and white, something inside me broke free. I could make a unique contribution. Not only could I make it, I knew how to make this difference. From this realization onwards, it was as if something inside me roared to life, and I had the energy to put my head down and pursue this.
It was challenging because a crucial part of my new journey was being vulnerable in sharing my story and intimate details of my life and trauma — but it started to heal me. Slowly, piece by piece, I started moving toward being Whole again.
I had to do a lot of work to overcome these barriers. I needed to work on rewriting my inner narrative. The voices telling you that you can’t, you’re not enough, this will never work, and the other million reasons we use to convince ourselves not to do something. But once I took that step into the unknown, everything started blossoming around me. There were many setbacks, challenges, and hard times. There still are, but the end goal was so worth it.
How are things going with this new initiative? We would love to hear some specific examples or stories.
Success is not a straight line or an easy elevator trip to the top. I face challenges every day. I have to work against doubts that creep up and motivate myself to keep moving. I say this first because it’s so important that anyone reading this knows there is no golden ticket to happiness. It is tough. It is hard — and I experience that too. You are not alone! I place great value in the victories I have achieved since, and I remind myself of these every time I face a difficult challenge. Since starting this path, I’ve completed my advanced certificate in Cosmetic Chemistry. As a shy girl who didn’t take chemistry at school and barely passed math, this was an immense leap for me because I wasn’t smart enough (so the world told me). But you know what? I did it! Not only did I do it, but I also passed with distinction! I proved to myself that I can, will, and should.
FIGGI Beauty is sold in four online stores, including our own. We are on Amazon, and we just launched a shelf in our first physical retail space in Miami. Three more locations are launching before the end of 2024, and big box retailers are asking to commence talks with us.
We’ve launched two new products for sensitive skin, and I’ve finally launched my ultimate goal: The Anxious Calm. This community and course offering is for others, like me, who struggle with anxiety or effectively managing stress. Based on my personal experiences, I offer a unique perspective on acceptance without self-help, which often leads to self-blame. The Anxious Calm is live and will launch as an official Google and Apple App in September 2024.
Together with Dr. Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist and author, I am also the proud co-host of the successful Sensitivity Doctors Podcast, which is for highly sensitive people navigating a world not always made for their unique wiring. Here, I get to be me, share my truth and my story, and bring this information to others who desperately need a place to heal and seek support.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I am obsessed with remembering everyone who made a difference in my life. It’s how I give back, remind myself to stay humble, and measure my success. It isn’t easy to single out one person. There have been many in various stages of my life who helped or made a genuine difference in a way that I needed most in a particular time and place in my life. However, if I had to single out one, it would be a cliché, but it would be unique in my scenario: My husband. He took me from a life of emotional struggle and saw something in me those in my world did not. He recognized the spark in me and had the patience to coax it forward. He taught me to dream big and believe in more than the value my world ascribed to me. He gave my soul the permission it sought to do big things and to keep moving forward. He has been my cheerleader through each new journey, in the front row of every significant event and victory in my career, and has been my mentor in many technical business aspects. It is incredible what is possible when someone truly believes in you — and you start to recognize the value in valuing yourself.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started in this new direction?
In my previous life, I was known for my ability to deliver complex concepts in creative and unique ways. But it wasn’t until I started the next chapter that I realized how creative I was and how much I enjoyed being creative. I discovered I have an actual eye for colors, design, and creating visuals. It was like I had a new lease on life. It is so refreshing, and it fuels my entrepreneurial fire. I love this part of the job. I am designing the packages, socials, advertorials, and new products. I love it so much that I realize it must be a part of every working day. These creative moments throughout the day are how I avoid burnout.
The repetitive structure and procedure I followed in my previous life is now stifling to me. I have now recognized what once brought me security contributed to my burnout.
Did you ever struggle with believing in yourself? If so, how did you overcome that limiting belief about yourself? Can you share a story or example?
I struggled with this, as I noted in some of my challenges with imposter syndrome. I still need help with this. It’s a constant, repetitive narrative in my mind, but I can now be aware of it when it happens and stop it in its tracks. It’s challenging to enter a new career later in life when you feel like others have a better handle on it because they’ve been in the industry longer than you. There will always be someone more intelligent than you, more qualified than you, and with different personality traits and interpersonal assets than you. But — there will always just be one YOU. Whenever I feel less than or like I can’t do something, I change it to the Jeanne Lens. Take the problem or situation, forget about what I don’t have, and see it from my unique perspective. If everything around me fell away, all the narratives in my mind, all the should-haves and cannots: What remains? What would I do? How would I handle it? This exercise always opens my mind to new ways of doing this and seeing and appreciating what I can do, even if that leads me toward someone who can better fulfill this challenge and help and guide me through it.
I also surround myself with positive people with good intentions toward me and my business. This way, I can be honest and say I’m struggling. We need to lift each other up and build each other up.
In my own work I usually encourage my clients to ask for support before they embark on something new. How did you create your support system before you moved to your new chapter?
It was different for me. I had been struggling for a long time, and my Breaking, as I described, was my turning point. I already had an incredible support system and a positive network of many who believed in me. My problem was that I was stuck in my own mind, and I didn’t believe in myself. No matter how amazing your support system is, there comes a point where you need to not only do the work yourself but also internalize and start believing the message.
Once this happened, it was like a cheering crowd waiting in the wings, and it erupted in joy for me. This feeling comes full circle with letting go of imposter syndrome. How we see and think of ourselves is not always how others see us. Again, people can be much kinder than we give them credit for. I already had all I needed regarding mentorship, a legal background that allowed me to sail through regulatory frameworks and legalities, experience committing many hours to study and improve myself, and a network of professionals waiting to see what I did next.
I want to reinforce that having a sound support system is incredibly important. Sit down and map out what you need help with, how you will need the help, when, and what this help and support will look like. Gather your people, gather your supporters, and be clear on your goals.
Starting a new chapter usually means getting out of your comfort zone, how did you do that? Can you share a story or example of that?
I built my comfort zone by avoiding uncertainty and insecurity at all costs. This approach led to a lot of missed opportunities. When I started FIGGI Beauty and The Anxious Calm — all this flew out the window. All I had was uncertainty, which was an entirely new experience. It was fascinating to exit this comfort zone with my anxiety issues since this elevated my internal challenges. I don’t have a story to share because I am still navigating this daily and am by no means at a space where I feel this is now comfortable.
I will say that a slight shift has come, and I am starting to learn that I don’t have to have all the answers right now. Sometimes, it takes a minute, and that’s okay. It doesn’t automatically mean I failed. It just means that things happen in their own time. I usually ask myself the following questions: 1) Do you honestly feel you tried your best? 2) Is there anything more you can do that will make a difference right now? 3) What is the worst possible turnout? 4) Can you live with it?
Once I go through this exercise, it always seems a little less intimidating and less intense than my overthinking mind makes it out to be.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started” and why?
1. It’s okay to change things around, try new things, and implement new ideas. You can always return to the status quo if it doesn’t work out. I was so intensely stuck in doing things a certain way and believing that once a decision was made, it was set in stone. This set me back a lot. Life and business are about trying. How will we know something does or doesn’t work if we don’t test it?
2 . People don’t want to see your expensive Facebook ads; they want to know who you are and your story. Boots on the ground, interacting with people, telling your story, and genuinely showing your authenticity are what make the difference. Get out from behind the desk and the digital world and interact — human being to human being.
3 . Don’t be afraid to take quick and decisive action. You need to trust your gut, and you know when something feels off. I spent thousands on marketing plans that never felt right, listening to the advice from professionals telling me that we needed to give it three months or six months. No! If something isn’t working, remember you are paying. It’s your money and your business. Pull the plug and make a decision that feels right to you.
4 . You don’t need to please or be everything to everyone. There will be people who prefer something else to your product or offering. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Constantly chasing new narratives to be unique or stand out more creates confusing messages for your clientele. Stick with what you offer, believe in what you have created, and focus on authenticity. The rest will flow naturally.
5 . Live! Never abandon friends and hobbies for that extra hour in the office. You always realize it is too late when all balance has left your life. Your business will not hold you when you cry or celebrate big moments with you. We need to have something else to look toward. There is joy in committing time to perfecting something just because you want to, not because you have to for survival. Take that hiking tour, enjoy the guitar lesson, and be present with your loved ones.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
It is being able to walk beside others in this journey called life that we are all learning to navigate. To stop this self-blame narrative based on someone having been where you are and now have a golden ticket to happiness. If it were that easy, none of us would struggle. I want The Anxious Calm to be this movement where a community comes together based on personal experiences, feeling and living all of life’s emotions, coaching each other through the hard times, and not judging because you haven’t reached a certain level of success or consciousness yet. We are all one; we all inspire each other. We all have something to give and something to learn. Let’s walk beside each other and hold the door open for those on a celebration path, provide a shoulder to lean on for those on a healing path, and hold space for those still trying to find their way. We are all connected.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)
I would love to sit down for a private chat with Gwyneth Paltrow. She went through an incredibly public reinvention period with GOOP. I cannot imagine how difficult it was to go through so much public judgment when she was already doing something as complex as reinventing herself. All for deciding to take the plunge and bring something different and inspirational into the world. She is the definition of owning your truth in business and not being everything to everyone. GOOP has a particular clientele, and she is unapologetic about that. From my experience in going from a service to a product-based business and mixing that with a soul-wellness aspect, this alone must have been a challenge. Going from creative endeavors to boards, directors, products, shipping, logistics, cosmetics, and other regulations is a true challenge. I would want to know how she keeps moving and what helped her keep putting one foot in front of the other when judgment was so public and rife. We all have things that drive us forward, such as a vision of what we want to be and work toward. My little inspiration every day is that I went into the GOOP store a few months ago, supplied my product, entered it into their buyer’s program, and shopped in the store. All when I was deathly shy and spent about an hour in my car convincing myself I could do it. Now, I keep my little GOOP bag, which my purchase came in, on my desk as inspiration when I feel overly drained and challenged.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I am on LinkedIn and Instagram. Readers can see our FIGGI Skincare Offering at figgibeauty.com and access the Anxious Calm online. This will soon launch as a Apple and Google Playstore App.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
