You don’t have to look and act like everyone else to be successful. I’ve been plus sized most of my life and working in the fitness industry can be intimidating when you don’t look like the cover of a magazine. I also grew up in poverty with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. So often I tried to pass myself off to be accepted, but in reality it’s the things that make me different that allow me to connect with and help the most people.
Today, more than ever, wellness is at the forefront of societal discussions. From mental health to physical well-being, women are making significant strides in bringing about change, introducing innovative solutions, and setting new standards. Despite facing unique challenges, they break barriers, inspire communities, and are reshaping the very definition of health and wellness. In this series called women in wellness we are talking to women doctors, nurses, nutritionists, therapists, fitness trainers, researchers, health experts, coaches, and other wellness professionals to share their stories and insights. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Darlene Marshall.
With 13 years in fitness and wellness, over a dozen certifications in coaching and fitness, and a Master’s degree in Applied Positive Psychology from UPenn, Darlene Marshall has a one-of-a-kind perspective on building mental wellness. A recognized authority within the wellness space, in 2024 Coach360News named Darlene one of the Top 24 Coaches Having an Impact, she won the MarCom Award for Best Educational Episode for her podcast Better Than Fine, and winner of UPenn’s 2020 BenTalks. The founder of the digital community The Wellbeing Revolution, Darlene’s no-nonsense approach meets people where they are, knocks down barriers to change, and supports growth even through life’s inevitable challenges.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
Absolutely and thank you for having me. My story starts with a rough upbringing. I grew up in rural poverty and in a household marred by abuse, but sports was one place I felt I could escape to and be free. In high school I played basketball and volleyball, then went on to play collegiate rugby. During my rugby career I accumulated some nagging injuries that festered into my early 20s and by 23 years old I was really struggling. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. That spring I was diagnosed with hypermobility Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a genetic condition that affects my joints. At that time, I couldn’t walk barefoot, carry anything in my left arm, and my hands were going numb during my work day. Despite my commitment to recovery, my physical therapist gave me a terrible prognosis: that my condition was progressive, and I should prepare myself for a life on the couch. I decided I’d rather break myself trying than accept her prognosis.
Over the next few years I learned a lot about movement, strength, nutrition, and mental health. I worked hard to grow from such a low place and 5 years later I ran my first 5k and hiked the Grand Canyon. That’s when I decided to become a personal trainer specializing in working with others who have chronic illnesses or injuries. That was 13 years ago and the commitment to harness my own challenges to help others hasn’t changed. In 2018 I was going through a divorce and the search for my own happiness lead me to the field of Positive Psychology, the study of human flourishing and wellbeing. As one of the few fitness professionals to earn a Master’s degree in Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania I’ve got a unique perspective on how the tools of fitness and wellness can be used to build a life based in wellbeing. Now I coach, speak, and write on how we can all build a wellbeing lifestyle, regardless of where we come from and what we’ve been through.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?
It’s more of a theme than a single story. Because time and again I have met with people who feel that the mainstream fitness and wellness culture just isn’t for them, but they’re desperate to care for themselves, be well, and have a life that works for them. When I invite them to focus on what’s actually authentic, what matters to them, and forget all the hacking and noise and pressure what they find instead is ease. Sure, it’s still hard work. But it’s work they’re no longer fighting and resenting. Oftentimes this comes with learning how to tap into their own beliefs, understanding their emotions, and setting good boundaries. Learning what to say ‘yes’ to and how to say ‘no’ becomes critical to make the space for who they really are and what they really want.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Early in my career I worked in a big corporate gym and just 2 years in I was promoted to management of a club with a real culture problem. After only a year in that role I was given a leadership role of 60 trainers at a busy, famous gym full of celebrities and high expectations. I was not ready for that role, nor was I well prepared by my own leadership. I knew I shouldn’t have taken it, but I was arrogant and wanted to prove how good I was. It did not go well and in the process let myself grind all the way into burnout. I became an angry, frustrated person along the way and ultimately stepped down from the role. I felt like an absolute failure and it took a big tole on my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
I learned a lot from that experience, but the biggest takeaway is to trust that quiet voice inside us. Oftentimes our ego will push us to do what the outside world rewards or values, but the deepest wellbeing comes from when we align with our authenticity. We can only hear that voice if we slow down and take the time to learn who we really are.
Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?
The fitness and wellness industries have been exploding in the last few years and they’re leaving so many people overwhelmed. But, at the end of the day, most people need the basics. Movement, quality sleep, nourishing food, and strategies to calm their frazzled nervous system. What people want is to feel good about themselves and in their bodies, to have peace of mind, and to have the energy to focus on what and who they really care about. Yet, so often with social media and influencers trying to have a hot take and go viral you’re driving more division, disconnect, and confusion. People know what to do — but they struggle to do it and to stay motivated.
My work centers on being radically well so you can show up fully for the things you actually care for. Your top priorities. It’s a combination of physical practices like exercise and sleep, emotional and psychological skills, and creating the structure in your life to get clear on your priorities and then live your life in alignment with your values. All in service of what matters most.
I’ve been really fortunate to not only do that work directly with my clients, share those tools on my podcast Better Than Fine, and through keynotes and corporate workshops, but I’ve also gotten to author certification coursework through the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) and educate the next generation of fitness and wellness professionals.
Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.
1 . Get clear about what you actually care about and keep that at the center. Social media is designed to hook our attention and shape our thinking, and when it comes to fitness and wellness a lot of that is just a distraction. But, when we look at the research it’s clear that moving our bodies, quality sleep, and good nutrition all help us to be regulated, productive, and more open to serve what we love. Anchor your health behaviors in being well so you can show up for what you care about most.
2 . Whatever wellness efforts you’re making, think in systems not just habits. Life doesn’t happen one habit at a time. We all live in a string of behaviors that form our patterns. Whether it’s emotionally reacting to our partners, the way we shop influencing our food choices, or how staying up late on our phones means we’re not getting enough sleep. If there’s a behavior you’re looking to change start looking at the other actions in your system. Like if you’re looking to cut down on eating highly processed foods start by adding in more healthful options and crowding out the junk.
3 . If you’re unsure where to start on your wellness journey, start with working on sleep and stress. I’ll often have new clients that think they need to start with punishing workouts and restrictive diets but they’re exhausted and burnt out. Before they meet with me they’ll spend months trying to get themselves to do these aggressive programs and then beat themselves up when they can’t stay motivated. When we’re overwhelmed and overtired the body doesn’t have stable resources to take on big challenges. I advise them to start by cleaning up their sleep and learning meditation and other self-regulation strategies to heal from the burdens of chronic stress. It’s not long before they’re energized and want to start exercising or eating well as an act of self-love instead of self abuse.
4 . Find movement that you enjoy — or at least something about it that you like. This one comes directly from motivation research. If you’re someone who struggles with exercise and it feels like torture you’re not going to do it. But, research in positive emotion tells us that when there’s something about the healthy behavior that we enjoy we’re more likely to be consistent and get the results we actually want. That’s because positive emotions, like joy and humor, create a different reaction in the body. Positive experiences make us more open to change, better problem solvers, and they increase subconscious motivation. Even if you don’t like the exercise — if you like the music, the instructor, or even that you go with your friends who make it more fun then you’re more likely to stick with it and get the benefits.
5 . When it comes to nutrition, you’ll get farther focusing on what to add more of instead of fixating on restriction. For many people, including some of my clients, restrictive diets can be damaging to mental and emotional health. I believe that if an practice that is “good” for the body but harmful mentally isn’t actually a healthy change. That’s because we’re more likely to rebound, engage in disordered eating, and harm ourselves in the long run. Instead I encourage what I call Additive Nutrition where clients focus on adding in foods we know to be healthful every time they eat. My clients follow a specific ladder of habits that starts with eating consistent meals at consistent times 3–4 times per day and getting vegetables and protein every time they eat.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I’m starting that movement! It’s a community called The Wellbeing Revolution. It’s not news to anyone that we’re in a stressful, difficult place as a society and species. The climate crisis, social discord, economic struggles — there’s a lot to fix. We know from research in wellbeing that when we’re well we’re more effective and successful. We’re better problem solvers, collaborators, and partners. We’re more creative and it’s easier to learn and make new connections. Those are all skills we’ll need if we’re going to find solutions to life’s most difficult problems. It would be a radical shift in thinking and in how we live our lives. A wellbeing revolution.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
- You don’t have to look and act like everyone else to be successful. I’ve been plus sized most of my life and working in the fitness industry can be intimidating when you don’t look like the cover of a magazine. I also grew up in poverty with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. So often I tried to pass myself off to be accepted, but in reality it’s the things that make me different that allow me to connect with and help the most people.
- You have more insight and gifts to offer than you’re giving yourself credit for. Similar to #1, I’ve had periods of really intense imposter syndrome. Only recently I’ve really come to accept that I have unique gifts that I was given so I can share with and help others. Fortunately, I’ve had wonderful mentors and friends who have encouraged and supported me at times my doubt was holding me back, I just wish I’d understood it sooner.
- You’ll go farther by taking your time and learning along the way than you will trying to pretend you’re fully grown. I love to ask people “who do you want to be when you grow up?” It catches them off guard but it also shares something fundamental I believe, which is that we all have the potential to keep growing until the very end. There were times in my life I wanted other people to think I’d figured it all out and knew everything. Now I know that we’re all in process and on a journey of learning, and that’s actually a lot more fun too.
- Run your own race at your own pace. Throughout my career I’ve had times I compared myself to others and it’s never helpful. Whether it’s career trajectory, income, followers and likes, or in our personal lives we’re each on a unique journey. You never know what someone else is going through or growing through and they’re working on their own stuff, too.
- It’s all a learning experience on your life journey. There have been times that the challenges I’ve had have gotten my really down on myself. Whether how I was raised, my diagnosis, divorce, or other struggles. Yet, when I look at them as opportunities to learn, grow, and get better at helping those I’m called to serve I see them more like a curriculum of life. When we approach our challenges as lessons it opens us up to ask better questions about how we can move through in alignment with our values.
Sustainability, veganism, mental health, and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?
Mental health, specifically mental wellbeing. To me these other issues of sustainability and the climate are built on a foundation of mental wellbeing. Human beings are naturally pack animals who are hard wired to care for one another. I believe it’s a sign of lacking wellbeing when we’re stuck in patterns of selfishness, greed, and disregarding one another and our planet. We also know after over a century of practice that the history of psychology isn’t enough to meet the challenges we currently face. Not just mental health treatment, but actively building wellbeing through practices that recognize the mental, physical, emotional, social, and ecological impacts of our existence are essential if we’re going to turn this all around. I believe that true wellness isn’t buying more stuff or selfish narcissism; it’s living in alignment with your individual authenticity and then using your gifts in service of the world around you. That includes one another and our environment.
What is the best way for our readers to further follow your work online?
They can follow me on Instagram @darlene.coach, join for free at The Wellbeing Revolution, or check out the Better Than Fine podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.
Thank you for these fantastic insights! We wish you continued success and good health.
