You alone are responsible for your happiness — and others are responsible for theirs. My years of feeling like a victim in Vienna taught me that blaming others for our circumstances keeps us stuck in patterns that don’t serve us.
Many successful people reinvented themselves in a later period in their lives. Jeff Bezos worked on Wall Street before he reinvented himself and started Amazon. Sara Blakely sold office supplies before she started Spanx. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a WWE wrestler before he became a successful actor and filmmaker. Arnold Schwarzenegger went from a bodybuilder, to an actor to a Governor. McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc was a milkshake-device salesman before starting the McDonald’s franchise in his 50s.
How does one reinvent themselves? What hurdles have to be overcome to take life in a new direction? How do you overcome those challenges? How do you ignore the naysayers? How do you push through the paralyzing fear?
In this series called “Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life “ we are interviewing successful people who reinvented themselves in a second chapter in life, to share their story and help empower others.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Katia Vlachos.
Katia Vlachos is a reinvention coach, speaker, meditation teacher and bestselling author of Uncaged: A Good Girl’s Journey to Reinvention. With a Master’s from the Harvard Kennedy School and a PhD from the RAND Graduate School, Katia began her career as a policy analyst before pivoting into coaching, specializing in helping women to reinvent their lives and pursue their aspirations without being weighed down by guilt or overwhelm. Based in Switzerland, Katia has also spent over 25 years as an expat and is an expert in cross-cultural transitions and global mobility, which led her to write her first book A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving in Your Expat Assignment.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Iwas born in Cameroon, Central Africa, to Greek parents, and moved to Greece at age four. My parents weren’t typical Greeks — they were immigrants who had spent significant parts of their lives abroad before returning to Greece as adults. My father was an entrepreneur, which shaped my early understanding of forging one’s path.
Growing up, I embodied the “good Greek girl” archetype:
- I excelled at everything while following the prescribed path — what was deemed “right” for me.
- I learned how to be a pathological people pleaser and consistently put others’ needs ahead of my own.
- I felt guilty and selfish whenever I considered putting myself first.
That was my first experience of what I now call the “cage”: the self-imposed limitations that would shape my early choices.
My good girl conditioning influenced my early career choices. Banking was considered prestigious and “appropriate,” so I studied finance and landed a banking job. The job was soul-crushing, which eventually led to my first reinvention — pursuing a public policy degree at the Harvard Kennedy School in my early 20s.
I shifted careers from banking to defense analysis, eventually got a PhD, and worked as a military analyst at the RAND Corporation in Santa Monica. Yet when life took me to Austria, a neutral country, I found myself unable to pursue that same career — at least not at the level I had in the US. Once again, I was back in the cage.
My most meaningful reinvention came through writing my first book and training as a life coach. More importantly, I made the conscious decision to stop being the “good Greek girl” and to start living the life I wanted — not the one others expected of me. This journey of breaking free inspired my second book, Uncaged: A Good Girl’s Journey to Reinvention, released in October 2024.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“People are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.”
This principle has fundamentally transformed my perspective. It is one of the foundational principles of the co-active coaching model I encountered during my training and speaks to our innate human capacity to make choices, take action, demonstrate resilience, and learn from our experiences.
The impact of this principle extends far beyond my coaching; it has transformed my life and relationships in two profound ways:
First, it taught me to take responsibility for my choices and actions, rather than default to victimhood or blaming circumstances and others’ decisions. The shift from passive acceptance (or resentment) to active authorship of my life has been transformative.
Second, it has allowed me to stop taking responsibility for others’ emotions and happiness and trust that they are capable of making conscious choices. This realization has allowed me to establish healthier boundaries and more authentic connections.
This principle has also benefited many of my clients who, like me, have spent years as people-pleasers, carrying the weight of others’ expectations while neglecting their own needs and aspirations.
You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much?
- Intentional Commitment
When I take on something meaningful and aligned with my values, I bring to it my full presence and dedication. It’s important to me to be true to my mission and the difference I want to make in the world: empower women to break free from their self-imposed limitations and reinvent their lives on their own terms. This focused commitment has been the foundation of everything I’ve achieved, from writing my books to building a coaching practice that helps my clients create lasting transformation.
2. Connection Through Community
Entrepreneurship can often feel isolating and lonely. I craved connection and community, but as an introvert, found networking events uncomfortable and overwhelming, so I chose to create connection on my own terms. While writing my first book, a guide on how to make successful international moves called A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving in Your Expat Assignment, I discovered the Families in Global Transition organization — a community of kindred spirits from all over the world who understood my journey. This experience taught me the power of intentional community-building. I used the same approach when I started my coaching business and wanted to establish more local connections. Now, I lead a monthly circle of female entrepreneurs in my area, creating the kind of meaningful connections I once sought. These relationships have transformed my professional journey from a solitary path into a collaborative adventure.
3. Radical Compassion
One of my principles in life is that everyone — including myself — is doing their best from their level of consciousness and with the resources they have. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. When judgment creeps in, I consciously shift to curiosity: What might be happening beneath the surface? This approach has shaped both my personal relationships and my coaching practice. Though extending this same compassion to myself can be challenging, I’ve learned that self-kindness is not selfish or indulgent but essential for growth. This practice of radical compassion has enabled me to create deeper connections and guide others with genuine understanding.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about “Second Chapters.” Can you tell our readers about your career experience before your Second Chapter?
I started with the “prescribed” path: finance and banking first, then a transition to policy analysis which better aligned with my interests in international affairs. After graduate studies in public policy at Harvard Kennedy School, specializing in international security and defense, I joined the RAND Corporation, a prestigious think tank based in Santa Monica, California. There, I conducted high-level public policy research while also pursuing my doctorate. The work was intellectually demanding and exposed me to the upper echelons of the US policy establishment. As one of the few women in defense at the time, I felt I was breaking important ground.
And how did you “reinvent yourself” in your Second Chapter?
My reinvention was triggered by a move to Austria, my then-husband’s native country. Despite thriving both professionally and personally in LA, I followed him — a decision that effectively ended my defense career. Austria’s neutral status meant the kind of high-level work I had been doing at RAND was no longer accessible.
After years of trying to maintain my original career path, I decided that perhaps changing direction was the better option. Reinvention started with writing my first book, inspired by my challenging expat experience in Austria. I started researching why people make moves and what it is that makes a difference in how they fare through those moves. While researching and writing — alongside raising three young children — my life underwent further transformation: my marriage fell apart, I discovered coaching and started my coaching business, and ultimately wrote my memoir. Each step moved me closer to my authentic self.
Can you tell us about the specific trigger that made you decide that you were going to “take the plunge” and make your huge transition?
Rather than a single “aha” moment, my transformation emerged from a gradual shift in perspective. I spent years feeling resentful and unhappy in Austria, blaming my husband, the unwelcoming culture, the gloomy weather — I was trapped in victimhood. The real change began when I accepted that the end of my defense career was not the personal failure I made it to be, but an opportunity to reclaim responsibility for my own happiness. I needed to stop making others responsible for my choices.
This mindset shift opened me up to new possibilities and I became more intentional about the choices I made going forward. I leveraged my research and analytical strengths from my previous career to build expertise in intercultural transitions, leading to my first book. Later, coaching called me to rediscover and develop different “‘muscles”: listening, empathy, and intuition — skills I’d always had but never used in a professional setting.
What drove me to take these leaps was a clear sense of purpose: helping others navigate their transitions with less struggle and more intention. Initially focused on supporting expatriates, this mission has evolved into empowering women to break free from their own cages and step into their full potential.
What did you do to discover that you had a new skill set inside of you that you haven’t been maximizing? How did you find that and how did you ultimately overcome the barriers to help manifest those powers?
My early professional success was built on my intellect: research skills, analytical abilities, discipline — my greatest assets. Coaching training revealed a different dimension of strengths I hadn’t fully acknowledged until then: empathy, deep listening, intuition. These heart-centered abilities initially felt unsettling, as they required me to step away from the familiar security of pure intellect. What emerged was a more integrated approach, combining both heart and mind — a transformation that became the foundation of my coaching practice and ultimately led to deeper, more meaningful work with my clients.
How are things going with this new initiative? We would love to hear some specific examples or stories.
My coaching practice has evolved over the years. While I started coaching expatriates through international transitions following the publication of my first book, I noticed a recurring theme among my clients: increasingly, they were accomplished, ambitious women feeling trapped between their aspirations and obligations. These women craved reinvention but struggled with guilt and societal expectations — a journey that deeply resonated with my own experience.
This recognition led me to pivot my practice to specifically serve these women, supporting them in writing their next chapters boldly and unapologetically. It also inspired my memoir, Uncaged — a decision I didn’t take lightly, but one driven by the potential to help others see themselves in my story and find courage in our shared experience.
Today, I’m living my purpose by spreading the “uncaged” message and guiding women to create thriving lives on their own terms, free from the constraints of “‘shoulds” and “musts” that often keep us playing small. This work feels like the perfect integration of all my chapters — both the planned and unexpected ones — coming together in service of meaningful transformation.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
My journey has been shaped by several key influences, each contributing a crucial element to my path:
My father taught me not to settle, but to always seek what truly resonates rather than accepting the conventional path. My mother instilled in me the persistence to pursue my aspirations, and not give up on what I want. My husband was the first person who saw me for who I really was — beyond my good girl conditioning — recognizing and nurturing potential I hadn’t yet acknowledged in myself. My coaches both championed and challenged me, creating safe spaces for exploration while pushing me beyond my comfort zone. Last, but not least, I am grateful for my circles of women who have surrounded me with unconditional acceptance and belief.
Each of these relationships has contributed to my understanding that true transformation happens not in isolation, but through meaningful connection with others who see our light, even when we cannot.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started in this new direction?
When my memoir was published, I was struck by how often people called me “brave” — a description that initially surprised me. It wasn’t until my story about my marriage breakdown appeared in a major UK newspaper that I truly understood what they meant. Suddenly, my private journey was thrust into the public sphere, attracting both profound support and harsh criticism. In addition to the outpouring of love and support, came the hate comments, the judgment, the attacks on my character and choices.
This experience taught me something crucial about vulnerability. Being publicly exposed — especially when you never anticipated such widespread attention — makes you feel raw, unsafe in your own body. I had to learn how to find safety within. Through this discomfort, I also discovered a deeper connection to my purpose. I anchored myself in the reason I chose to share my story: to illuminate a path for others who feel trapped by expectations, guilt, and societal judgment. Every supportive message from a reader who recognized their own struggle in my words confirmed that the vulnerability was worth it. This wasn’t just about sharing my personal journey — it was about creating permission for others to acknowledge their own desires for change and growth.
What started as a personal memoir has evolved into a movement of sorts, encouraging women to break free from their self-imposed cages and choose themselves without apology. The criticism hasn’t disappeared, but my commitment to this mission has become stronger than my fear of judgment.
Did you ever struggle with believing in yourself? If so, how did you overcome that limiting belief about yourself? Can you share a story or example?
Of course. Like many high-achieving women, I’ve wrestled with that persistent inner voice telling me I’m “not enough.” It’s our mind trying to keep us safe — in the status quo, our comfort zone. When I decided to write my memoir, these limiting beliefs flared up even more: Who was I to tell my story? Why would anyone care about my journey?
While years of personal development work have helped me challenge these beliefs, they still occasionally re-emerge, especially when I’m stretching into new territory. What I’ve discovered, though, is that the most powerful antidote to self-doubt isn’t more achievement or external validation — it’s self-compassion. I’ve made a conscious commitment to treat myself with the same kindness I extend to others, regardless of where I am on my journey, whether I’m succeeding and achieving, stuck in a rut, or failing. When I notice self-doubt creeping in, I don’t fight it or try to overcome it — instead, I acknowledge it with compassion while continuing to move toward what matters most to me. Self-compassion has transformed my relationship with limiting beliefs and allowed me to pursue my aspirations with both courage and kindness.
In my own work I usually encourage my clients to ask for support before they embark on something new. How did you create your support system before you moved to your new chapter?
My support system has multiple layers — and that’s intentional. At its core are my husband and family, alongside lifelong friends who have been part of the various chapters of my journey. I’ve also cultivated communities of kindred spirits — from global nomads to female entrepreneurs — who are my natural cheerleaders. Perhaps because I genuinely enjoy championing others, I tend to attract similar souls who understand the power of mutual support. I don’t hesitate to ask for help and see it as a sign of wisdom, not weakness. Being open to receiving support has been crucial in my reinvention journey.
Starting a new chapter usually means getting out of your comfort zone, how did you do that? Can you share a story or example of that?
It was purpose rather than courage that guided me out of my comfort zone. When I first started sharing my work publicly — my first expat conference, my first blog post — what pushed me past fear was my mission.
For instance, returning to public speaking after a 30-year hiatus was daunting. But my desire to share my first book’s message — to help other global nomads struggle less through transitions — was stronger than my discomfort. Each time I stood at a podium, I focused not on my nervousness, but on the potential impact my words might have on someone in the audience who needed to hear them.
This experience showed me that stepping out of our comfort zones doesn’t require the absence of fear — but simply a “why” that’s bigger than our fears. When we’re deeply connected to our mission, comfort zones naturally expand to accommodate the work we’re meant to do.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started” and why?
1 . You alone are responsible for your happiness — and others are responsible for theirs. My years of feeling like a victim in Vienna taught me that blaming others for our circumstances keeps us stuck in patterns that don’t serve us.
2 . Know your values and honor them above all else. When your choices align with your core values, you feel energized and purposeful. When they don’t, life feels persistently “off.” I discovered and articulated my values during my coaching training journey and that allowed me to gain so much insight into my past choices and why I had experienced so much dissonance in my earlier life.
3 . Trust your intuition as much as your intellect. Your heart and gut often know what your mind hasn’t yet processed. Integration of all three leads to better decisions.
4 . Not everyone will accept or celebrate your transformation. Don’t take things personally. People’s reactions to your growth often reflect their own fears and limitations rather than your worth. It’s not personal — it’s human.
5 . Everything is temporary — emotions, situations, relationships, successes, and failures. So the best thing you can do is embrace and make the most of the present moment.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I envision creating an “Uncaged” movement — a combination of virtual and physical spaces where people can shed their self-imposed limitations and step into their authentic power. These would be environments where we could inspire and support each other while developing deeper awareness of the ways we hold ourselves back. The goal would be to create a ripple effect of empowerment, showing that when one person breaks free from their cage, they light the way for others to do the same.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)
I would love to connect with Brené Brown. Her work on vulnerability, shame, and courage deeply resonates with my mission of helping women break free from societal conditioning and self-imposed limitations. Her research-based approach combined with authentic storytelling aligns perfectly with how I aim to create change in the world. I believe our conversation would spark interesting insights about how to scale the impact of the “Uncaged” movement and reach more women who are ready to rewrite their stories.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
My website
My new book: Uncaged: A Good Girl’s Journey to Reinvention
The platform I am most active on is primarily LinkedIn, but also Instagram.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
