Make a list of bold lifetime goals! You are far more likely to achieve great things if you dream big and plan to make it happen!
Many successful people reinvented themselves in a later period in their lives. Jeff Bezos worked on Wall Street before he reinvented himself and started Amazon. Sara Blakely sold office supplies before she started Spanx. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a WWE wrestler before he became a successful actor and filmmaker. Arnold Schwarzenegger went from a bodybuilder, to an actor to a Governor. McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc was a milkshake-device salesman before starting the McDonalds franchise in his 50s.
How does one reinvent themselves? What hurdles have to be overcome to take life in a new direction? How do you overcome those challenges? How do you ignore the naysayers? How do you push through the paralyzing fear?
In this series called “Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life “ we are interviewing successful people who reinvented themselves in a second chapter in life, to share their story and help empower others.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Carol Enneking.
Carol Enneking is a sought-after speaker, difference maker, and a positive influencer. She inspires resilience, hope, and fulfillment by encouraging people to strive for balance and focus on success that matters. She is also an accomplished senior human resources executive with global expertise in talent management, coaching, mentoring, enterprise learning, and leadership development. Carol’s life lessons learned on her elusive quest to “have it all” inspired her to write The Rebalancing Act: Wisdom from Working Women for Success that Matters.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Iwas raised in a pretty typical family of my generation. Dad was hardworking and traveled a lot so that he could provide for us. My mother was more of a constant presence and role model to me. I was one of four kids, and we were all raised to know right from wrong. We moved around a fair amount, but most of my childhood was spent in Houston. I have fond memories of playing outside, riding bikes around the neighborhood, and swimming a lot during summertime. I set high goals for myself, but I also listened to everyone else’s idea of who I should aspire to be. My early life experiences greatly informed the choices I made and the journey that I took in adulthood.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“The road to success is always under construction.” — Lily Tomlin
One of my uppermost values is contribution. I aspire to do something meaningful every day and want to contribute to creating a better world around me. I am a big fan of continuous improvement and lifelong learning, two principles which I have brought into my personal and professional life daily. There is always more to learn, and even when I think I know something, the circumstances around me can change and require different ways of thinking. I like to ask myself, “Did I make the best decision I could, given my awareness at the time?” It enables me to focus on doing my best, permitting myself mistakes, and moving on to do and be better. I look in the rearview mirror long enough to learn from my past but try hard not to dwell on what might have been, or look back with regret, because it robs me of the joy in my present situation. By focusing on moving forward, and making the most of my journey right now, I can give my best effort and focus on even better things to come.
You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much? If you can, please share a story or example for each.
Surrender, trust and faith are critical ingredients that have helped me immeasurably in my life. The more I have learned to surrender my own plans and give up certainty, the more rewarding my life has been. When I began my own company at 29, I had a completely short-term focus. I thought I would work part time, make a little money, and eventually return to the stability of a corporate role once my kids were a little older. I call myself an accidental entrepreneur and like to say that the man upstairs had way bigger plans for me than I could imagine for myself. By surrendering my plans, I was able to walk into much bigger plans, plans that kept me in business for 18 years! Trust involves believing in the goodness of something or someone — believing that what you gain by surrendering to something new will be better than what you are leaving behind.
Trust is what enabled me to scale my business. I found other entrepreneurs with complementary skill sets to serve my clients, and it transformed my company into a larger entity able to serve clients better and in more ways. Partnering with them provided me opportunities to work with over 150 companies and travel all over the world to work in different countries. The power of a trusted team allows us to do so much more than we can on our own, but being willing to trust others to come along and join us in achieving our vision takes a great deal of courage and vulnerability. The payoff can be exponential, as it was in my case.
Finally, faith is having certainty in something that you cannot see, such as having faith in a higher power, in your own innate self-worth, or in something working itself out for good. I can point to several specific examples of times when I had no idea how I would get through a tough time, or where my next project would come from. But I learned that things had a way of working out with perfect timing. Maybe it wasn’t my perfect timing, but in hindsight I can see that it was better than the plans I had for myself. I am a Christian, so my faith is really centered around prayer. The more I had given up my own idea of how things should go, the more amazing my path forward has been. Taking purposeful steps toward your goals is important. Being prepared to act on the opportunities is key. But you don’t always need to know exactly where the path is leading. I like to say that I don’t know where the path is leading but I know who is leading me on it, and I know it will be good. Will it be easy? No, not always. Will there be setbacks along the way? Most likely. But will it be worth it? Absolutely!
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Second Chapters’. Can you tell our readers about your career experience before your Second Chapter?
I spent the first several years of my career working in corporate roles, and then became an “accidental entrepreneur” after my first child was born. I expected to work on contract for a few years and then go back to corporate but ended up traveling the world and working with over 100 companies over 18 years through my own company. After my divorce, I went back to a corporate role, which was not easy after being on my own for so long. But the learning and growth that followed were incredible! My role grew over the years, and I ascended to a Vice President role, leading Talent Management, Learning & Diversity in a large company. I loved my role, but always dreamed of writing a book and focusing on public speaking.
And how did you “reinvent yourself” in your Second Chapter?
I left my corporate role and took time to reflect on what I really wanted to do. More importantly, I focused on the legacy I wanted to leave once I retire. This led me to fully concentrate on public speaking and writing. My first book, The Rebalancing Act: Wisdom from Working Women for Success that Matters, was released in September 2024. I am focused on fulfillment — for myself, for my loved ones, and for my vocation — and focusing on my legacy.
Can you tell us about the specific trigger that made you decide that you were going to “take the plunge” and make your huge transition?
There were several reasons I left my corporate role, but basically, it was time. I had built a solid foundation and hired a team that could carry on without me. I needed to focus on my health as well, after successfully battling breast cancer. I did not want to keep working long hours and carrying a high level of stress. That said, I was approached about a few corporate jobs that were tempting, but I kept praying the Lord would lead me down the right path. I had never, ever had the luxury of being able to just “be” and think through what I wanted to do next. My children had graduated from college (yay!) and were on their own and I took time to really think about what would feed my soul rather than just chasing a paycheck. My husband was my biggest cheerleader and encourager, and that made a world of difference.
During this time, I focused on writing the book. I interviewed over 70 women and men for the book. While conducting interviews, a friend of mine recommended I speak with a friend of hers. I mentioned in passing during the interview with my friend’s friend that my dream was to focus on public speaking, and she suggested I check out Tricia Brouk. I followed Tricia on LinkedIn. Months later, when I happened to be on LinkedIn, I saw a post that Tricia’s company was offering a 12 week speaker’s academy. I had spoken before but wanted to up my game to get ready to take big stages. So, I signed up, not knowing what I was in for. And during those 12 weeks I went from wondering whether I could make a go of it to being consumed with excitement to make it happen! .
I don’t believe in coincidences. A great quote from C.S. Lewis explains my point of view about that (look it up!). I believe events that happen to us are divinely orchestrated. What if my friend wouldn’t have introduced me to her friend? What if I hadn’t mentioned wanting to speak to her friend? What if her friend didn’t refer me to Tricia? What if Tricia’s post hadn’t popped up right when I logged into LinkedIn? All of those things and more had to happen for this to happen.
And here I am!
What did you do to discover that you had a new skillset inside of you that you haven’t been maximizing? How did you find that and how did you ultimately overcome the barriers to help manifest those powers?
I learned that I have everything I need to succeed within me. But to do that, I had to learn to let go of worrying about what everyone else thinks! I spent way too many years doing things “because I should” or because they were “the right thing to do.” There are far more things vying for our attention than ever, and I cannot do everything! And when I try to do everything, I don’t do anything very well. To be exceptional at a few things, I had to give up trying to be everything to everyone and taking on too much. That was hard for me. But when I really started thinking about what I want people to say about me when I’m gone, that freed me to focus more on what matters most by letting go of some other things. I think in the past, people probably would have said I got a lot done and worked really hard, but that I was pretty stressed out most of the time. That is not what I want to be known for. So, I have learned to take more time to think, enjoy the moment, focus on being fulfilled, and consider the legacy I want to leave instead of just being filled with things to do.
How are things going with this new initiative? We would love to hear some specific examples or stories.
Doors have continued to open in surprising and amazing ways. I had planned to launch my book with a small gathering of family and close friends. I was talking about it with a fellow entrepreneur who suggested having an event during a major conference in my city. The next thing I knew, I was planning a much larger event than I’d ever planned for, was asked to speak at several venues, and had companies encouraging their employees to read the book.
Also, Tricia Brouk selected my book to publish with her new publishing company, The Big Talk Press, and has been coaching me as I launched my brand, my speaking business, and my book. Working with her has been absolutely fabulous! I was chosen to speak on my first “big stage” during this Second Act, which was extremely exciting.
So I can say it’s going very well! I am still not completely sure where all of this will lead, but I am here for it, and so very excited! It is exhilarating to be living my life with purpose and pursuing my dreams after thinking they were beyond my reach for so long.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Ah, there are so many and I am very thankful for them. My friend and colleague, Alisa, is absolutely amazing. She and I were friends first, and then she worked for my company. My divorce was surprising and sudden and for a time I was unable to fulfill my work obligations. Alisa stepped in and handled everything for me. She worked with clients, found other people to help with our projects, managed the operations, everything. And she did it flawlessly, so my company never missed a beat. She was a lifesaver when I really needed it and I am very grateful to her. My goal now is to pay it forward, to help others like Alisa helped me. This is a big reason I wanted to write my book, The Rebalancing Act, and develop tools to support others in their own rebalancing act. The collective wisdom shared from women of all ages about how to focus on what matters most and how to let go of what doesn’t will help others lead a more fulfilling life.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started in this new direction?
Early on, I was introduced to a highly successful speaker and asked him to meet with me for 15 minutes. He agreed and I set up a Zoom meeting for us. The day of the meeting, I was in workout clothes with no makeup on, and was exhausted from some stuff going on with my father who has Alzheimer’s. It was hardly my best look for a business call. I didn’t want to cancel the call though, so I jumped on the video meeting and basically apologized. I didn’t want him to think I was wasting his time. He was so warm and friendly, and I really enjoyed connecting with him. I didn’t feel like I had a whole lot to contribute to the conversation, but really appreciated his insights. I basically told him I knew I had a story to share and wanted to start speaking but didn’t really know what I was doing. My self-doubt crept in, as I figured he would wonder why someone this unpolished would think she could be a public speaker. He asked for my cell number at the end of the call. Right after we hung up, he sent me a video saying how he enjoyed meeting me, which was wonderful. He went on to say he has a great gift of intuition, something he inherited from his father, and that he knew there was something special about me. He said he believed I would be a great speaker because he knew I had an important story to share. Wow! I was surprised by his message and overwhelmed by the amazing interaction that came about in just 15 minutes. That was heartening and yet another sign that I was on the right path.
Did you ever struggle with believing in yourself? If so, how did you overcome that limiting belief about yourself? Can you share a story or example?
I do struggle with this. I suffer from imposter syndrome sometimes, but then I pray and see all kinds of signs telling me I am right where I am supposed to be. So, having the faith in a higher power, along with realizing I will not ever please everyone — and that that is ok! — enables me to move past these doubts.
In my own work I usually encourage my clients to ask for support before they embark on something new. How did you create your support system before you moved to your new chapter?
The way my friends and family showed up for me throughout pivotal points in my life has been phenomenal and has had a big impact on me. I wouldn’t say that I created a support system specifically with my second chapter in mind. What I realized, though, is that having support makes everything you do better. I love the line from the Beatles’ song The End that they close with: “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” To have support, you need to give your support. Cultivating relationships with people who have your best interest in mind, with whom you can be yourself, and who will show up for you in your time of need is one of the most important investments of time you will ever make. Making time for things — and people — who matter most is important. My husband encourages me to spend time with my friends, I encourage him to spend time with his friends, and we spend time together with our friends as well. This has shown me how a support system operates at its best.
Starting a new chapter usually means getting out of your comfort zone, how did you do that? Can you share a story or example of that?
Early in my career, I was definitely in my comfort zone. But starting a company at 29 brought me out of my comfort zone in a huge way. Ironically, after being an entrepreneur for 18 years, stepping back into a corporate role took me out of my comfort zone. And then, stepping away from the stable, predictable corporate role into an entirely new world of public speaking took me out of my comfort zone again! Each time, it takes careful consideration of all the factors at play. I like to ask myself three questions to get perspective in these situations: What’s the best that can happen? What’s the worst that can happen? What’s likely to happen? In each of these corporate transitions, letting go of old, comfortable things enabled me to make space for new, exciting, more fulfilling things. Had I not divorced, I might not have returned to a corporate role, because I had an established, thriving business. The need for benefits and a steady income not prone to the fluctuations of consulting gigs led to that transition. After a 25 year career, much of which was spent on my own, this transition was challenging. However, learning so much and having many incredible growth experiences made this transition quite rewarding! I learned that sometimes even when change is thrust upon you and is not necessarily what you wanted, it can be a huge opportunity for growth.
Never was a transition scarier and more exhilarating than in my reinvention for this second chapter. In the past, my transitions were a result of circumstances in my life like having children and getting divorced. When I left the last corporate role and had time to reflect and think, I truly did not know whether I wanted to return to corporate or start a new entrepreneurial venture. Giving myself the gift of time to really consider what all was out there and what really fed my soul made all the difference. It is the best gift I have ever given myself, and I encourage people to take sabbaticals, take a few weeks off, or just take a weekend sometime if that is all you can spare. But give yourself time to contemplate what you really stand for, what you really want to do, and who you really want to be. You will be rewarded with clarity and confidence to move forward in a purposeful way and this investment of time will serve you well.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started” and why?
1. You are only in competition with your own best self. I spent my early years listening to my dad tell me I needed to live up to superlatives. I should be the best, the smartest, the hardest working, etc. I looked at everything as a challenge, and wanted to rise to the top — regardless of what the challenge was! Maybe it was innate, as I have noticed my daughter is like me in this regard. It is good to strive, to work hard, and to be ambitious. But if we look at ourselves as the sum total of our resume, our GPA, our accomplishments, or some other external measure of success, will our self-image be hollow if we make a mistake or fail. I went through a seminar called Increasing Human Effectiveness (IHE), led by an influential speaker, Bob Moawad, in my early twenties. That was a life-changing experience for me. Moawad asked us if self-esteem could be too high? I said yes, it could. Then he asked what that would look like? I thought my answers were obvious — egotism, arrogance, conceit. And then he said, “What if I told you that when people exhibit those behaviors, they actually have low self-esteem?” That really hit me. When people are acting that way, they are trying to prove something, to validate themselves, or to be better than others, and that is not high self-esteem. He went further to explain that self-esteem is “knowing you’re good and wearing it well,” and that we are only in competition with our own best selves. No one was made exactly like me or you, and we need to focus on doing the best we can in the space we are in right now. Let go of measuring ourselves by arbitrary standards and learn to love yourself. It absolutely changed how I viewed others, especially the egotistical ones. They no longer intimidated me, and over time, I learned to let go of trying to please everyone else or live up to arbitrary standards. This is critical to living your life with purpose and stepping into who you are meant to be!
2. You are worthy and enough just as you are. Similarly, it is so easy to fall into the traps of wanting to do and be more. But if we are constantly saying to ourselves that we need just one more thing, more of this or less of that to be fulfilled, happy, successful, etc. we may never move forward. Someday you may look back and wish you had seized the opportunities you had instead of being afraid to move ahead. Take the first step! You don’t even have to know exactly how you will progress. As you take action, the next step will come to you. I started my own company at 29, consulting with other companies. Some people made comments about how young I was, and it would have been easy to doubt myself and suffer from imposter syndrome. But I moved forward with one project at a time, building my portfolio of projects. Soon, I had a solid track record to stand on, and more success followed than I’d even anticipated. My “little side gig” I pursued part time when I had young children took me (and my family) all over the world working with varied clients for over 18 years! And suddenly, I realized I was no longer the youngest person in the room. Because I let go of feeling inadequate or inexperienced, I was able to step into the role I was meant to have. You can do this too! Believe in yourself — just as you are right now! — and you will be amazed at what you can do.
3. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I believe this quote is attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt. It was another one I learned during the IHE seminar. I worried excessively about what everyone else thought and what they said about me. This quote really flipped this around for me. Why did I let their thoughts affect me so much? I think it was wrapped up in my issues with self-esteem and feeling like I needed to be better than others. I learned to let this go, which was critical for my career success. As a training facilitator for many years, my success was largely dependent on how others received my messages. So, I needed to know how they felt about my training content and delivery. Their feedback was important, and we do need to be open to feedback. But it is also important to use feedback that is helpful to improve and learn. But we also must let go of feedback that is not helpful or useful. There are people who you will never please, and there are people who enjoy tearing other people down. Some people say negative things out of envy. Learning to process this effectively and avoid letting it overwhelm or wreck me was important for me to be successful. This is even more important as you rise into leadership positions. Having leadership courage is important. People will not always agree with you or even like you, but if you have the right intentions, are fair, and handle difficult situations with respect and diplomacy, you can hold your head high knowing you made the best decision given the situation and your awareness at that time.
4. What happens to you is not nearly as important as how you deal with it. Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes we all make mistakes. I have been dealt my share of setbacks, unfortunate circumstances, and disappointments. Any of these could have sent me into a downward spiral from which I could not rebound. But I did, and I can look back and realize that through those bad times, I learned and grew in ways that would not have been possible otherwise. If you feel defeated, look at Abraham Lincoln. We all know him as one of America’s greatest presidents. Did you know he was defeated in several elections, lost his job, lost a woman he loved, and even had a nervous breakdown prior to being elected US President? Defeats and setbacks did not stop him. Perhaps they even helped him develop the fortitude and resilience that defined him and made him such an effective leader. This is one of many examples I share in my book. There is a big difference between saying “I failed at something” and “I am a failure.” Success is never certain, and failure is not permanent. Permit yourself mistakes, learn from them, and move on.
5. Make a list of bold lifetime goals! You are far more likely to achieve great things if you dream big and plan to make it happen!
If you want to be inspired, look up John Goddard. I learned about him in IHE, and part of our seminar involved having us set a list of lifetime goals. We had a list to help us brainstorm, and it was absolutely exhilarating! I wrote down goals I had no idea how or when I would accomplish. Somehow, the act of writing these goals made them possible. It was the first step toward living a life with purpose. That was 30 years ago. I can look back on my lifetime goals and see so many I have accomplished. They were goals that at the time I didn’t even think possible, but I wanted to consider them, so I wrote them down. Yes, you can adjust them too. But you will be surprised by how much you can achieve if you take the time to ponder what you would like to accomplish. John Goddard wrote his goal list at age 15, filled with ambitious things like visiting all seven continents — things that at 15 might have seemed impossible. This enabled him to craft his life in a way that would help him achieve these goals. He enlisted in the Air Force, and later studied subjects that would lead him to a career exploring the world. He was just a 15 year old kid, and yet just by setting goals, he was able to move forward toward achieving them and lead quite an extraordinary life. Imagine what setting worthwhile goals can do for you.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Choose wisely. Choose what matters. Recognize that you have everything inside of you to succeed, and let go of trying to do, be, and have everything. Focus on a few things that matter most and make purposeful choices. Have the strength to say no so that you can say yes to living your life more fulfilled. Let go of basing your decisions on arbitrary thoughts like what you “should” do, what you think others expect of you, or what established norms dictate. What brings you joy, fulfillment, and purpose? Focus on those things, and work to eliminate the non-essentials. Aim to give yourself some margin — some free time — is this an opportunity to enjoy your family, friends, and relationships — and nurture those.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)
That is a tough one because there are many people who I admire and would love to meet! These days, I would enjoy meeting a few fellow UT-Austin alumni, like Jenna Bush Hager and Emmanuel Acho. I love the way they show up — real and conversational — and that they encourage people to be themselves and be intentional about what matters, whether it’s having an uncomfortable conversation (Emmanuel) or balancing career and family (Jenna).
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Go to my website and you can join our community and connect to my social channels. Be sure to grab a copy of The Rebalancing Act available on Amazon and from all other major book sellers. And if you desire support on your journey of rebalancing, let’s get on a call.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
