Let’s be honest: We’ve been sold a version of love that looks like a jewelry commercial but feels like a performance review. We’ve been taught that love is a mountain we have to climb, or a prize we have to buy.
But what if we stopped? What if we dropped the masks and the "capitalist trends" and just looked at each other? There is something so much more beautiful than a diamond: the simple, honest dedication of showing up, day after day, exactly as you are.
It’s time for a detox. It’s time to move beyond the expectations and find the naked truth of what it means to truly care.
The "Grand Gesture" vs. The "Blanket"
Every February, we brace ourselves for the "Grand Gesture." We wait for the flowers, the curated dinner, and the social-media-worthy proof that we are wanted. But here is the uncomfortable truth: If you are waiting for a specific day to feel seen, you aren't actually being seen.
How people express love comes in many different forms, and they rarely look like a movie script.
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The Silent Provider: Some show love by cooking for you or checking on you to make sure you’re okay.
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The Quiet Protector: Some cover you with a blanket when you fall asleep on the couch.
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The Practical Heart: Some people can’t express love verbally, but through gestures that don’t seem "romantic," they are putting in the effort to say "I love you" in the only way they know how.
When we remove expectations and look at a person for who they truly are—whether it’s a partner, a friend for Galentine's, or a family member—we finally see the love that was there all along.
Love Without the Invoice
Most of us approach relationships with a hidden invoice. “I did this for you, so I expect this from you.” That isn't love; that’s debt collection.
We complicate our connections with traumas, insecurities, and the standards society has instilled in us. We demand "proof" in the form of chocolate, flowers and diamonds. But how valuable can all that be if you are not being heard or truly cared for?
The Pet Paradox: We never have to give our pets a diamond for them to love us. We accept their honest dedication without condition. Why do we demand a price tag from our humans?
Rewiring the Brain: Love as an Everyday Habit
How do we stop expecting the "grand gesture" and start appreciating the everyday? It requires mindfulness. It’s about opening your heart to giving and receiving love every single day, not just when the calendar tells you to.
1. Remove the Masks
Don’t you wish you could go into a relationship being your authentic self? To offer nothing but your heart and be accepted for who you are? This starts with you. Remove the defensiveness and the "societal conditions" and show up raw.
2. Switch the Script
It is usually easier to complain about someone than to show appreciation for the positives they have done for you. We need to rewire our brains to find the positive and appreciate the simple, everyday demonstrations of love.
3. Practice Verbal Courage
Tell them out loud. Don't assume they know. Honest, clear communication is the antidote to the "capitalist trends" that tell us we need objects to speak for us.
The Mindful Love Checklist: 5 Ways to Love Without the Price Tag
Instead of a grand gesture, try these "small-scale, high-impact" acts of honest dedication this week:
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The "Unasked" Favor: Do that one chore they hate—the one you usually argue about—without saying a word or asking for credit.
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Active Witnessing: Set your phone in another room and give someone 15 minutes of your undivided, unmasked attention. No "checking out," just listening.
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The Verbal Receipt: Instead of a gift, give them a specific "thank you" for something they do every day that usually goes unnoticed (like making the coffee or being the "calm" one).
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The Presence Gift: Send a text in the middle of a random Tuesday that says, "I was just thinking about how much I appreciate who you are." (No occasion required).
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The Expectation Drop: Consciously choose to let go of one "standard" you’ve been holding over someone’s head. Forgive the mess, the tardiness, or the awkwardness. Just let them be.
The True Meaning of Love
The naked truth is that love is messy, quiet, and often very simple. It’s two hearts loving each other without any pre-established conditions.
This year, let’s turn Love Day into an everyday habit. Show your loved ones you care through the small things—the things that make a huge difference. Remove the standard expectations, skip the performance, and keep the soul.
Because at the end of the day, a heart that truly sees you is worth more than any gift that comes in a box.
Happy Valentine's Day.
About the Editor
Wanda Malhotra is a wellness-focused entrepreneur, Founder of Crunchy Mama Box and the CMB Certification, and a Wellness Realtor in Tennessee. Her work sits at the intersection of healthy living, intentional design, and lifestyle innovation, with a focus on how environments shape everyday wellbeing.
Learn more about Wanda’s work at wandamalhotra.com.
